Daily thoughts
Today I start my blogging journey. I need a safe space to get the thoughts out of my head and out of my mind. I also want somewhere to talk about my day. I don't have a partner anymore as my husband of 23 years decided our marriage "ran its course". I am sad, not so mad anymore I don't think...at least not today anyway. I miss being a wife...but I don't really miss being unhappy. I want a life where I can be happy with myself, but it's hard right now to feel I will ever get that.
But I digress, I don't really want this to be sad stuff, I really want a place to say "I had a good day today" or anything else I want to say, I would say to a partner. I am not crazy, I know this is not a substitute for a partner, but that is what I miss most is sharing with someone, and this is my solution for now.
I don't ever expect anyone to find this or read it, so I feel very comfortable with sharing my thoughts and feelings. Today I think I had the first NOT BAD day in a really long time. It was a good day, not the best as I did not have anyone to share it with. I am not talking about a male sharing partner either, I just don't have any friends either, so I can't share with anyone. I have one friend but she is in another state, and I feel like I have dumped on her WAY too much, I have my mom but again I feel like the only time I call is when I am in a crisis. So this is now my virtual friend. Like someone that would understand if only they were still around.
October 29 - Today was a good day
Today was a good day. I did not cry once, and I only thought about my crappy situation once or twice. Only thought of my soon to be ex-husband and his mistress a couple of times and it did not lead my down a spiral. I have come to realize that he is right, I don't have any right to ask about his personal life. Although he shares it with my son and my son tells me. Yes, he has someone that "stays with him on occasion" Because he is lonely and wants company. Well he had company and threw it away for a girl that has really nothing going for her, except that she is probably over the moon now because she finally got what she always wanted...MY LIFE. She always coveted what was mine, and he gave it to her. She gets to stay in my house, which is WAY better that anything she ever had, she is sleeping in my bed with my husband(soon to be ex). He even took her to the casino we always went to and got her a players card with the family home address. I can type this out now and not be sad...but I have had a drink or two so I guess that may help or make it worse, I am not sure.
Now that I have gotten that out of the way, I need to come to terms. I need to move on. Not with another man but just let it all go and move to something better. Maybe that is being alone, maybe not but right now I just need to be! She can have him in that capacity.
Today I went to work, feel I accomplished stuff. Came home and hung with my granddaughter Wilma Joan, and then made some Cricut Pumpkins and put chocolate and tootsie rolls in them to give to my co workers tomorrow. I will post photos in my other section.
Tomorrow is pajama day at work. I don't know if I will do pajamas exactly, but I think leggings and a big Goodrich sweatshirt are in order! I hope its fun!
Not sure what tomorrow will bring, or the weekend either. I hope to have a good one though and not many sad thoughts of HIM and HER.
that's all for now!
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